I Got Sick

I got sick, and with the help of others I'm better.

     Short story long, I haven't been taking care of my self, trying my damnest to punish it for my self imposed faults, foibles and failings.  I mean no matter how I try to justify it, smoking weed with COPD is seriously stupid.  I've watched most of my family die from COPD, I know what awaits me, but to try to hurry that?    Not to mention my drinking,,,,Wine, beer and spirits are wonderful things in moderation, but I haven't been moderating.  Drinking alcohol to lose time, is lazy, cowardly and fucking expensive.  Not quite as expensive as 11 days in the hospital,  but money better spent on needful things.

     Having been close to death has hopefully somehow changed me in a fundamental way.  I know my mind is clearer..I'm writing this blog entry after a lapse of a pair of years...the miasma of depression is lifting and I feel a smile radiating once more.   There is hope once again at Camp Massawomee.

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Today I stand

     So many things going through my mind, many that I would be ashamed of if public.  Mainly mayhem in Washington.   I'm pretty sure I can keep a cap on it, but still I can not remain silent while a tyrant has taken control of the country I love.   I may have COPD, but I still breathe and having to breathe the same air that Trumpulthinskin breathes.  Sad.  Irritatingly I copy his syntax.  How long before the brown shirt bullies start to spill blood on the ground to assuage the ego of the nazi ensconced in our White House. And it will spill my friends, as surely and the sun will rise on an awakened America. I may not be able to march, but I can still speak up.  Resist America this pestilent blight upon the soul of our country.  

What?

iwnrtt
but it will be real


I worry about my sweet child
my beautiful grandkids

I'm bewildered

It was my generation that created this Dystopian reality.

Shame on us
Shame on me

in and out, you don't have to shout

All I know

is that I am me.

Everything else

a mystery

My body included.

Just ego

pure, unadulterated me

Yet I breathe

and every breath makes      me

so am I me

or my breath?

An Ode to Deacon Duvall

A month or so ago a man named Deacon Duvall died at the grand age of 97.  I didn't know Mr. Duvall, but I did know of him.   I was in the Navy when his Fairmont State football team won the national championship of the NAIA.  I didn't see any of the games, but i earnestly followed the team in the Times/West Virginian newspaper my mom and dad subscribed to for me. I had played against Roy Michael and Sonny Bardic in high school so I knew first hand what Fairmont State's  opponents were facing.   I admired that team and their coach Deacon.   Never met the man, even though I started Fairmont State his last year as coach.  Years pass,   Roy Michael is Mannington's coach, then North Marion's.  Roy had a great teacher in Deacon and I'm sure Deacon was proud of Roy.  

I read, as many did, Deacon's obituary and it mentioned his book, published in 2008,," Duvall Football: Winning a National Championship ".  My immediate thought was to read his book and like always I Amazoned.  Ordered the book and waited.   Yesterday I got a notice from the bookseller that he couldn't find the book.   Okay I think,,I know I can go elsewhere for the book.  I cancel that order and get back to Amazon and what do I find???  They don't have the book at all.  I'm so used to having any book I want on my doorstep within a week,  I'm taken aback.

But I must say, as a Camp Massawomeean, I had a plan b.     

I pulled the Mannington Library up and Lo:  Not Found

Know that the Mangton Library net site is part of the Marion Co. system which includes Fairmont State University.  I called the Mannington Library and they were.......Let's say I came up with Zilch.

So I called North Marion High School Library and asked them if they had a copy of a book which had to do with their retired teacher/coach.    If I could congeal the reply of the librarian at North Marion down to it's essense it would be " Roy who? "  

Non-plussed I dialed FSU Library and finally talked to their reference librarian.

She told me that Deacon's book is only in three libraries.   The closest was WVU.

I have no idea of the literary merits of Deacon Duvall's book, having never read it.  But damnit,,,why isn't it at North Marion, and why isn't it at Fairmont State, indeed, why isn't it enshrined at Fairmont State.....  But

This isn't about a man I haven't met.  It's about his wife Joan.

After all my blind alleys, and Plan C*.

I reread the obit, saw that his daughter was local, and I called and left a message for her or her husband.

A couple of hours ago the phone rings and it's Deacon's wife Joan. If I could remember exactly the conversation because she was the most gracious, self-effacing, kindly person I ever talked to.

Upshot:;    She's sending me two (2) "Duvall Football:  Winning a National Championship"

I'm to donate some money to the First Baptist Church Deacon Duvall Memorial Fund.   Joan wouldn't pin me to a certain amount,,,,just "some".   

I didn't know Deacon Duvall,,,but I know for sure he married one classy lady.

*I was going to call John Veasey at the newspaper.

A Proper Loaf of Bread

My latest effort, my latest love.  Ain't she a beaut?

10/6 ration of flour to water, 1/2 tsp Salt, 2 tsp of honey,  tsp of yeast and a cup of Sourdough starter.  35 minutes at 400 degrees,   Wasn't sleepy, so I stayed up all night and this was out of the oven around 5 a.m.  The first slice slathered with cultured butter was just delicioso.  Can't imagine what my bread is gonna taste like when I get good.  Still a little underdone in the very middle.  Crust is seriously chewy, but the inside is airy and with a bright bread taste.  I tried to emulate a crust design I saw in one of my bread books.   Didn't use a razor, but just a french cooking knife, that I had sharpened with my new knife sharpening kit from Smith's.